‘I’ve wiped all the files? I’ve wiped the internet? But I don’t even have Modem.’ – Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill.
This week has been a mixed bag. Plenty to savour, such as a trip to Paris, a romantic excursion to the Chateau De Chantilly with the sober half and Liverpool going top of the league. However, it’s been there has also been caveated with a side order of dastardly luck.
WEDNESDAY: I put my entire life’s work onto a Seagate External hard drive and deleted everything from my computer. THURSDAY: The hard drive snuffs it and there goes my last ten years of binary memories, stories, scripts, photos, podcasts, half baked song ideas and half baked everything else. Truth is I’m a narcissist and harboured dreams that this hard drive might be unearthed in prosperity, like you hear of people finding lost Rembrandts in their loft. Luckily I’m not that talented, and even less precious. Moving on.
I got sent a AVI-8 Hawker Hurricane Limited Edition watch this week (minus the chess board) and let me tell you, it is a thing of beauty. AVI-8 are an aviation inspired watch brand, who’s watches are all named after British planes that fought in World War II and have a very WWII military feel and look to them.
This limited edition run commemorating the epic Battle of Britain, which perhaps stands as the most seminal moment of air combat during the Second World War, is a labour of design and detail that has taken more than a year of meticulous research, design and production. It feels timely, pardon the pun, with remembrance day round the corner. Almost serendipitous. Deeply grateful to AVI-8 and of course the men whom gave it the backstory.
The free world is now in the hands of a bigger narcissist than I. My other half said it best, this was an anti-establishment vote and nothing else. I digress, the most dangerous thing about Trump winning the Whitehouse is the philosophy it represents. If a guy with no political acumen can be president, why can’t I [fill in the blank]? I’ll extend that olive branch. When brands send me clothes, I think, ‘Why can’t I be an international model?’ Who cares if I’m 5’6, bald, pigeon toed and in the arse-end of my thirties. In the meantime check these guys out, I got sent this T-Shirt and I’ve been wearing it for exactly 76 hours now.
T2 – TRAINSPOTTING 2
WOW. Just wow. I’m of the perfect age to be excited about this movie. I’m filled with warm fuzzy nostalgia. John Hodge wrote an original screenplay for the sequel 10 years prior, but was scrapped and redone so that the original cast would agree to return for a film sequel. Poor old John Hodge, hope you got double bubble for that mate. Spud dies about 50 odd times in the trailer so he’s definitely a goner. Sick Boy and Rent Boy will take drugs again, shoot at animals’ boll*cks in the park and debate how the new Bob Dylan album is shite. Franco, albeit hilarious, has no redeemable character traits so he’ll be incarcerated at the end or die in a hail of bullets. I’m all in with this one. Can ne wait!
RUSSEL BRANDS TAKE ON TRUMP
Some pub in Hammersmith, circa ten years ago. I had just finished a gig, I got talking to a glamour model (I know, incredibly cliched) and to my amazement I got quickly embroiled in a mating dance that was destined to result in a sweaty crippled heap in the back of a tourbus parked outside. That was until her phone went beep. She glanced at the text, her pupils dilated and her lips softened.
‘I have to go,’ she said.
‘What, why? I was… we were.. hold on?’ I pleaded.
‘Russell brand has just text me.’ She said stoically, holding aloft her Nokia. I squinted and read.
DARLING COME ROUND, I HAVE SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO SHOW YOU.
Her legs skittled in mid-air like a cartoon and then pow! Gone. Anyway, little story for you there.
As I mentioned earlier Trump getting into the Oval office was not only an anti-establishment vote but a victory that represented how we deal with aesthetics. Much like how Kennedy won the presidency in 1960 because during the first televised debate, Nixon wore the same coloured suit as the studio backdrop. Meaning, the voters simply couldn’t see him. What do you think people are watching when Trump is prowling around the stage during the debates? One reporter said it was like watching a silver back gorilla ambling over the shoulder of its prey. People simply didn’t see Hilary.
This guy had his own TV show where he fires millionaires. Can you effuse more power than that? Remember that line in Planet of the Apes where Caesar explains away the mutiny within the ranks by saying ‘Ape always go for strongest branch.‘? Well here you have it. But these are just my thoughts, non-orchestrated. My c*ck-blocking counterpart explains it a lot better.
THE BOND TASCHEN BOOK
Couldn’t duck out with a little mention of Bond. My Brother recently had an injury at work that would put you off eating spaghetti for life. His work mates had a whip round and bought him the James Bond Taschen Book. I couldn’t quite get a decent enough picture of it (running theme) so just pulled one of the net. It is just a beautiful spectacle. The photos alone have a deep richness, without the Getty Tags. Not quite worth losing the best part of a digit over but pretty close. Check out a more comprehensive review here.